The Hunt for Djarum Specials, 6 June, 2010, Toronto

Mission: Buy two packs of Djarum Specials for U.S. residents.

Morning:
I walk past a Lotto Canada (Ontario?) Store, pause, turn back, look in, and because it reminds me of Italy's tabaccherie, I decide to make my first attempt. I go in.

I ask the little Asian lady behind the counter in the shoebox-sized store, Do you have cigarettes? (I have no idea where to buy cigarettes in Canada - they're not on display in drugstores. Hell, I don't even pay attention to where to buy them in the States!)

She says, yes. I ask, Cloves?

Again, the answer is yes.

Do you have Djyaroooom Specials?

She pulls out the Black, then one pack of Specials. I ask for one more, and she tells me she's only got the one; do I want one of the Blacks? I reply that they're for someone else, so I'd better just take the one.

She rings it up. I'm standing there with a $5 bill, ready to pay up. The till stops at $11.00. ELEVEN DOLLARS??

Good grief! I say. She chuckles, and asks if I want the receipt. I take it, and she jokes, show it to him. Meaning my friend back home.

So now I have one, but need two. One down, one to go, as they say.

Later that day...
I walk into another convenience store, this one larger.

Do you carry cigarettes? I ask again.

Yes.

Do you carry... Jiaarooom Specials?

He doesn't understand, so I try again. And then a third time. Finally, I say, Here: and pull out the pack I've already purchased.

He squints at it, and grumpily tells me no. I thank him and move on, thinking about airports and duty-free shops...

After Dinner, which I unwisely decided to make blueberry pancakes, I change course on a whim and walk up Yonge St, which is full of adult stores, run-down-looking restaurants and tacky souvenier stores, to see what I can find.

Lo and Behold! A couple blocks north, across the street, is a shop with a red lighted sign that reads, "TABAC". Thinking tabaccheria, again, I cross over to investigate.

There are big advertisements for cigars, so I ask just to be sure (yep, you guessed it!): Do you have cigarettes, too?

The very nice-looking man laughs and says, yes, that is why we're called a tabacco store... (well, sure, but whatever)

I explain about the prominently displayed cigar signs. He laughs again.

Do you have cloves? Is my next question.

We have Djaruhm Black and Djaruhm Special.

Oh, perfect! I say. One of the specials, please.

As he's getting it, I explain that this is going to make Johnny Appleseed* very happy, because apparently you can't get them in the States anymore.

He agrees and says you won't be able to get them in Canada for much longer - it's only a matter of time.

Oh? Why's that?

Legislation passed recently that prohibits all flavored tobacco products.

Light dawning, I ask, Because it makes them too appealing?

Because it makes them too appealing, he repeats.

I make a sympathetic face, until I realize Oh, wait! I don't smoke, so it doesn't bother me.

I can tell, I say, I'm going to be hunting more of these up every time I go home.

He chuckles, and says, well here's your first successful purchase.

I turn to leave.

And that, I realized as I walked away, was the first time I'd ever purchased cigarettes.



* Names have been altered to protect privacy.