Disclaimer: I'm feeling optimistic and sentimental this morning, so if you're not interested in reading about warm fuzzy feelings and the like, Read No Further. Seriously. If you're okay with all that, by all means, continue.
This morning started out in the same way as usual (except that I now have an incredible, wonderful, dear programmable coffee-maker), with too little sleep the night before, getting up way too early - as in, before 6am, which is generally an unbreakable rule I have - and napping instead of eating breakfast.
And yet somehow, I feel different. It's not that last night was particularly good night, or that yesterday was a particularly good day. In fact, a recurring old problem of mine reared its ugly head again yesterday, putting me in a terrible frame of mind. I don't say mood because it was more than a mood.
Recently I came to realize that the past year has probably been the worst I've ever experienced, not counting the year I turned 17. Bored and frustrated at work, I found no solace in going (or being at) home. Quite the opposite, my life at home stressed me out more than anything else. Where do you go when you can't go home?
To get to the point, at some time on my walk to work this morning, my heart turned over. Or grew. I wonder if that's how the Grinch felt when he had his revelation. I can't describe it precisely, only I have my armour back, and nothing can pierce it. I feel the proverbial great weight has been lifted from my broad-but-slender shoulders. Now I have a metaphorical gorget with matching spaulders. I've been trying to convince myself for the past few months at least that life is too short to "sweat the little things" as it were. I sincerely don't want to spend my days fretting over the past year. Having a worrying personality complicates matters, but today just may have changed all that.
So starting today, I'm not going to let anything upset me that isn't entirely worthy of feeling unhappy. Not my knees, not long lines in a hot Dunkin' Donuts, and certainly not rude, obnoxious - make that Toxic - people.
I'm going to enjoy my morning coffee and the light breeze.
This morning started out in the same way as usual (except that I now have an incredible, wonderful, dear programmable coffee-maker), with too little sleep the night before, getting up way too early - as in, before 6am, which is generally an unbreakable rule I have - and napping instead of eating breakfast.
And yet somehow, I feel different. It's not that last night was particularly good night, or that yesterday was a particularly good day. In fact, a recurring old problem of mine reared its ugly head again yesterday, putting me in a terrible frame of mind. I don't say mood because it was more than a mood.
Recently I came to realize that the past year has probably been the worst I've ever experienced, not counting the year I turned 17. Bored and frustrated at work, I found no solace in going (or being at) home. Quite the opposite, my life at home stressed me out more than anything else. Where do you go when you can't go home?
To get to the point, at some time on my walk to work this morning, my heart turned over. Or grew. I wonder if that's how the Grinch felt when he had his revelation. I can't describe it precisely, only I have my armour back, and nothing can pierce it. I feel the proverbial great weight has been lifted from my broad-but-slender shoulders. Now I have a metaphorical gorget with matching spaulders. I've been trying to convince myself for the past few months at least that life is too short to "sweat the little things" as it were. I sincerely don't want to spend my days fretting over the past year. Having a worrying personality complicates matters, but today just may have changed all that.
So starting today, I'm not going to let anything upset me that isn't entirely worthy of feeling unhappy. Not my knees, not long lines in a hot Dunkin' Donuts, and certainly not rude, obnoxious - make that Toxic - people.
I'm going to enjoy my morning coffee and the light breeze.
here here!
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